Why women change or don’t change their names when they get married | Lifestyle

Every day before and after saying “yes”, many people, especially women, are thinking about the difficult question of whether to adopt their spouse’s name.

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Decades ago, newly-married women overwhelmingly adopted her husband’s name, meeting social practices and ensuring certain legal, financial and family protections.

In some states, these safeguards It contains The ability to hold a driver’s license or voter registration, pick up a child from school, or have a credit card is said by Stephanie Kunz, Head of Research and Public Education for the Modern Family Council. ..

Culturally, adopting the husband’s name was related to the concept of father ownership. The woman once belonged to her father and then to her husband, said Deboraker, a professor of sociology at Boston University and director of the Center for Social Science Innovation.

Despite the growing feminist movement and the growing gender equality, the overwhelming commonality of this practice remains. At the same time, “at least in the United States, about 20% to 30% of women hold their name, which means that the majority take their spouse’s name when they get married,” Kerr said. ..This includes recent artist Jennifer Lopez Confirmed her marriage Actor Ben Affleck with the signature of “Mrs. Jennifer Lynn Affleck”.

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“Women may legally take their husband’s name,” Kerr said. name. “

Kerr said there was a great deal of impetus to maintain his name until the legislative changes and the fast-growing feminist movement of the 1970s. She added that her tendency to decline in the more conservative era of the 1980s and has fluctuated since the 1990s.

The decision to keep or abandon your name can be influenced by economic, family, social, romantic and religious factors, especially when children are involved.

Give it a new name

For some, adopting a spouse’s name is “a public statement to the world that you are actually a couple,” Kerr said. “I think the other is social pressure. It may come from your spouse, but it may come from your family, and women often come from your parents as to why you don’t take your name. You’ll get a backlash, whether from someone in law. Some people believe that means you’re not so committed to the union. “

Inertia and tradition are other reasons, Kerr said. “People don’t question them because some things are happening all the time. They don’t oppose them,” Kerr said. “It’s like the road with the least resistance.”

Joshua Coleman, a personal practice psychologist and senior researcher at the Modern Family Council in Oakland, California, wants to remove the family’s name because of the desire to somehow leave the biological parent. Some may think.

“People who really don’t want to be identified as Smith, Jones, etc. who aren’t near or feel hurt by their parents will welcome the idea of ​​a new name that isn’t theirs.” He added.

According to Coleman, a woman who believes in gender equality but inherits her husband’s name may think that changing the name does not mean giving up her authority as a woman.

“Women don’t think they have any kind of subordination to their husbands or inherit any of their power, authority, identity or personality. She likes that tradition, but that’s all she does. It doesn’t mean that you agree with something, it may have traditionally been with it, “he added.

Husbands rarely adopt their wives’ names.and 2018 study Of the 877 men, 3% (27) changed their names after marriage. Of those 27 men, 25 have completely removed their surnames. The two hyphenated their names. Men who changed their names in some way were more likely to be uneducated.

“It’s probably like misogyny or the continuation of patriarchy in that camp. The idea that a man takes his wife’s name would somehow be considered problematic,” Coleman said. ..

In the LGBTQ + spectrum, little research has been done on marriage-related renaming between couples.

“I think part of the reason for the lack of data is that legal same-sex marriage is still quite new,” Kerr said. “Because this egalitarianism is so common, I think it’s more likely that you’ll hyphenate or come up with something. There’s no history of this gender here.”

Retaining identity

Between 20% and 30% of non-traditional women, the most common practice is to keep their name, followed by a hyphen to create a hybrid name, or, more rarely, a brand new shared name. Is to come up with Carr. Said.

For some women, maintaining their name is maintaining the personal and family identities they have always had, Kerr said. “It can be tied to their parents and to their ethnic or racial heritage — the name is very meaningful.”

In fact, some people, especially those in very visible positions such as writers, scholars and celebrities, have established a professional identity. She added that if their name is the key to their profession, it’s something they might not want to give up.

According to Kerr, maintaining his name is also a political act often performed by those who adhere to feminist beliefs and customs. For example, independence or equal partnership. The question is why one name should take precedence over the other, and that using only one spouse’s name conveys an unequal partnership.

According to Kerr, the prevalence of retaining a family name is high among well-educated and older women. “They are building a more professional identity at that point,” she said, but young women have less professional relationships and may be more susceptible to family pressure.

Having children can complicate things.

“It’s very rare for both partners to choose a woman’s name,” Kerr said. “Overwhelmingly, if they choose one name, it belongs to her husband.”

Many believe that it is socially and legally easier to use the name of one spouse.

“People know what to call you,” she said. Also, using one name can cause “administrative headaches” such as flight bookings, insurance, health care, and people who are allowed to pick up their children from school. Can be prevented.

Parents who don’t use one name for the whole family “must do more work and more explanation because many structures aren’t set up to accommodate innovative naming practices,” Kerr said. Says.

The decision to use her husband’s name can come from the fact that there is “mother’s certainty,” Kerr said. “We know who will give birth, but not necessarily the father’s certainty, and historically it goes by the couple’s male name, given that unmarried births are still stigmatized. I think that’s the reason. “

According to Coleman, some form of surname combination allows you to maintain your identity as a member of the original family and as a member of the new family while maintaining your identity as an individual.

Why women change or don’t change their names when they get married | Lifestyle

Source link Why women change or don’t change their names when they get married | Lifestyle

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